sweet refuge...sweet refugee

Last night I layed in my bed and cried. School has started back up again, but since me and todd are moving to MOAB! i will not be returning to east high....or to the kids who i gave my whole freaking heart to. I went to East a couple of times with the new person, Garderner, this week to introduce him to my friends and help get him started. It was heartbreaking. Tashi had been waiting to see me. His hair is getting long. We talked about his dreams of being in India. Esta told me her baby is walking. Josephine moved. Leslie and Mary almost knocked me over when they came to give me a hug. Jasmine said I can't be replaced. Naima talked about her dreams of going out with some one famous and about how much fun we had last year. Yohanna's in foster care. April and Marko broke up. Victoria still hasn't gotten her model shots. So basically you can see, my life was a little bit wrapped up in this refugee highschool scene. And as henious as it was, i am not sure if I can hand them over. I spent so many akward afternoons begging forien looking kids to come hang out with me and getting yelled at by teachers to go to class. We spent hours and hours together. Working out every part of their lives from power points, to being in a new place, to finding rides to the early morning assembly rehearsal. I sat on their couches and heard their stories. I stayed late after work to listen. I shared with them some of the most important things in my life...hiking, planting trees, todd, chess, and i'm just not sure if i can turn them over. It broke my heart to walk away yesterday, even though I know I needed to let Garderner have his turn. But to you Garderner, all I can say, is you can't love enough. That will be your only regret, is that you held back too much.