I used to write a lot of poetry.

And some of it was actually pretty good. I want to still write it, but i have a hard time finding the words anymore. I used to write songs too. Some were lame, but some had some pretty damn good lyrics. (sorry it just sounded fun to say "damn" when talking about some of my own work. haha) A good number of them had meanings i didn't even understand until a while later when i looked back on them. somehow words had come from some hidden place with in me, trying to tell me something... but it took me so long to understand or to pick up on it.

i wonder if my outer life became too poetic to put on paper. or to have a need to. but that just seems ridiculous.

but lately with school and life i have had so much to think about. so many characters within me that want voices...and answers. sometimes i feel like a rotted out piece of wood to them...to saturated to process any one thing. and so they just run thru me all wild and river like. i want nothing more than to be able to write some kind of poem for them that i can look back at later and explain to myself...and at last see what it is exactly i am trying to say.